Weight: 139!
I broke 140! It has been a long time since I've seen that. Only 4 pounds until my goal weight and only 7 pounds from my wedding day weight!
Overall, this past week has been hard on a few different levels: 1. I feel an overwhelming laziness and 2. Am starting to wonder what I will do when this is over.
Allow me to explain.
Overwhelming Laziness: I think this is contributed to a few factors. As I already mentioned, I am close to my period. So, I guess I should consider this to be more of low energy than laziness. Sleep has been rare since I am trying so hard to keep the house clean, keeping up with intense workouts, spending time with my kids/family, and working full-time that I find myself going to bed at 1 - 1:30am and getting up around 7am with the kids. In short, it has been harder for me to find the motivation to go to the gym when it is 9:45pm. I just want to curl up in bed and sleep.
What gets me to the gym? I think to myself, "I have come this far, I can't stop now.. only a week and a half left!". I am not a quiter, I am a goal oriented person. What has helped the most is that this is not a life diet, it is a 30 day diet. When the goal is to big, it is hard to keep up. Too many indulgences are made. Thus, 30 days helps me because there is an end in sight.
This leads me to my other struggle for the week: What do I do when this is over?
For the past two weeks I did nothing but think of all the things I can't wait to eat. Chocolate chip cookies straight from the oven, Burgerville milkshake, pizza, french toast, biscuts and gravy, salt, martini, and... well, this list goes on for quite a while.
Rather than thinking of all that I can eat when I'm done, this week I've been thinking more of "What should I eat?". Like I said in the very first post of this blog, I am exposed to pastries, bagels, samples, leftovers from the store everyday. Plus, I attend a home church where we have dessert after every meal (every week!). So if you think about it, I am eating a dessert potentially every single day. That adds up to one unhealthy mama.
Not just the desserts, but it will be my everyday eating as well. Now that I've been looking at calories, I've noticed that some of my other meals were easily over 1,000 calories (each!). No wonder I've been so unhappy and feeling like shit. I finally feel great.
I feel the next couple of blogs are going to be more of how I am going to eat for an extended period of time rather than 30 days. I'm sure it will change in 10 years because my body will be different then and react to different foods.
Please share insights on how you eat. What works for you (or doesn't work).
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Day 12, 13, 14, 15
Weight: 141
Life has been extra busy as you can see so I haven't posted for the last three days, and I don't really even remember the last 3 days. I do remember that I am consistantly working out and feeling great about that.
The diet is still doing okay. I have avoided counting calories, not because I go over everyday, but more so that I was so annoyed plugging in every single vegetable I'd eat on the computer. Can't I say, "Salad with the works!" No... there is no option. I plug in pepper, mushrooms, zucchini, tomatoes, broccoli, red leaf lettuce, green leaf lettuce, and so on and so on. So it really became a time issue more than anything.
However, I am pretty sure that I've gone over every day with a little nibble here and a little nibble there. Like when I make Jordan's peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I take a lick of the knife before putting it in the dishwasher. 2 tablespoons of that stuff is 200 calories! So I'm sure I'm getting 100 with that simple lick and when I am trying to stay to 1500 calories a day, 100 lick doesn't go very far.
Basically I need to start diligently counting again. Good bye spare time.
But hey... half way there!!!!!
I did conquer probably the biggest challenges of all on Saturday.
My folks threw a dinner party and for dessert served Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies with mint ice cream!!!!! That was so so so so so so so so so so so so so hard to avoid. Matt and I were looking at each other for support but I think secretly wanted the other person to cave so that we could find the excuse to have some as well. I think the only thing that got me through it was the fact that my mom is gluten and dairy free right now, so both of those will still be in her freezer in two weeks!
Life has been extra busy as you can see so I haven't posted for the last three days, and I don't really even remember the last 3 days. I do remember that I am consistantly working out and feeling great about that.
The diet is still doing okay. I have avoided counting calories, not because I go over everyday, but more so that I was so annoyed plugging in every single vegetable I'd eat on the computer. Can't I say, "Salad with the works!" No... there is no option. I plug in pepper, mushrooms, zucchini, tomatoes, broccoli, red leaf lettuce, green leaf lettuce, and so on and so on. So it really became a time issue more than anything.
However, I am pretty sure that I've gone over every day with a little nibble here and a little nibble there. Like when I make Jordan's peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I take a lick of the knife before putting it in the dishwasher. 2 tablespoons of that stuff is 200 calories! So I'm sure I'm getting 100 with that simple lick and when I am trying to stay to 1500 calories a day, 100 lick doesn't go very far.
Basically I need to start diligently counting again. Good bye spare time.
But hey... half way there!!!!!
I did conquer probably the biggest challenges of all on Saturday.
My folks threw a dinner party and for dessert served Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies with mint ice cream!!!!! That was so so so so so so so so so so so so so hard to avoid. Matt and I were looking at each other for support but I think secretly wanted the other person to cave so that we could find the excuse to have some as well. I think the only thing that got me through it was the fact that my mom is gluten and dairy free right now, so both of those will still be in her freezer in two weeks!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Day 11
Weight: Forgot (a little scared from the weight gain)
Kate I think was right in her comment, I think it is muscle. For this reason, I usually never weigh myself because muscle is way better than just being skinny. But I hear about those models who are my height and 125. I don't want to look like that, but it makes me compare the number and then I get stuck on numbers.
I am getting closer to my period (sorry for the period talk on a blog to all you male readers), but it has to be said. I am craving everything. Maybe it is just the diet talking and not the hormones (or a little of both). So it is a little harder to keep focused. It sounds so comforting. Plus, when I should be feeling sexy and hot, I feel slightly bloated. Boo. My cramps are actually not as bad with the diet (or just a good month).
Other than that, nothing new to report. A normal day, I guess.
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs, 1 cup Cascadian high fiber cereal, 1/2 cup skim milk
Lunch: Bacon, tomato, cheese, pepper, lettuce wrap with whole wheat tortilla
Snack: yogurt, fruit, rolled oats, 2 little plums
Dinner: Asparagus, pepper, jalopeno, omelet with fresh tomatoes on top and 1 cup homemade oatmeal (sweetened with 100% maple syrup and little milk)
Workout: Weights, 4 miles run (it was on the treadmill, so to help make the time go by faster I would keep a 6:45 pace for 5 minutes, then 7:45 for 5 minutes, then back to 6:45 and so on and so on until I ran for 30 minutes which was almost exactly 4 miles).
Kate I think was right in her comment, I think it is muscle. For this reason, I usually never weigh myself because muscle is way better than just being skinny. But I hear about those models who are my height and 125. I don't want to look like that, but it makes me compare the number and then I get stuck on numbers.
I am getting closer to my period (sorry for the period talk on a blog to all you male readers), but it has to be said. I am craving everything. Maybe it is just the diet talking and not the hormones (or a little of both). So it is a little harder to keep focused. It sounds so comforting. Plus, when I should be feeling sexy and hot, I feel slightly bloated. Boo. My cramps are actually not as bad with the diet (or just a good month).
Other than that, nothing new to report. A normal day, I guess.
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs, 1 cup Cascadian high fiber cereal, 1/2 cup skim milk
Lunch: Bacon, tomato, cheese, pepper, lettuce wrap with whole wheat tortilla
Snack: yogurt, fruit, rolled oats, 2 little plums
Dinner: Asparagus, pepper, jalopeno, omelet with fresh tomatoes on top and 1 cup homemade oatmeal (sweetened with 100% maple syrup and little milk)
Workout: Weights, 4 miles run (it was on the treadmill, so to help make the time go by faster I would keep a 6:45 pace for 5 minutes, then 7:45 for 5 minutes, then back to 6:45 and so on and so on until I ran for 30 minutes which was almost exactly 4 miles).
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Day 10
"Meeting today at 2pm", is the email I read when I got to work today. A meeting on a Wednesday... how odd. Usually they are on Thursdays. As I am working out in my head the possibilities of what this meeting is about, I see a pizza delivery guy walk out the front door of my store.
"We're having pizza!" I thought to myself.
"Crap!" It hits me that I am still on a diet for 20 more days!
As I walk up the stairs to go to the meeting, the most warm, alluring smell fills my nostrils as I walk closer and closer to the office. Then, as I enter the room, I see it. The most beautiful pizza in the world. What kind is that, you ask? The kind where you can get 5 different varieties! Yes, there was vegetarian, chicken and garlic, combination, all meat, and another one. It doesn't matter that I don't know the last variety, it just matters that 5 different kinds of pizza were at my disposal.
I could have as much as I wanted! It was free! It was warm (did you know I work outside where it is freakin' freezing?)! It was pizza!
Pizza that is made of white flour. Pizza that has grease puddles. Pizza that has a high calorie count. Well, guess what?
I DIDN'T EAT ANY! Can you believe it?! I can conquer all! Who in their right mind can turn down pizza? Me, that's who!
Booya!
But get this... even after eating really well the last couple of days to make up for my challah choice, I've gain 3 pounds! I am sitting pretty at 143. This just goes to show that it isn't about weight, it is about how you feel... and I feel great! I am working out harder than I have in a long time. I am more disciplined that I have ever been and I feel damn sexy. 1/3 of the way through!
For all you on a diet or trying to loose that pregnancy weight... just keep working. You have to be realist about goals. Goals that you can actually reach in a reasonable amount of time. It will come. And tell someone about it. It'll help keep you checking in with someone.
20 more days here I come!
"We're having pizza!" I thought to myself.
"Crap!" It hits me that I am still on a diet for 20 more days!
As I walk up the stairs to go to the meeting, the most warm, alluring smell fills my nostrils as I walk closer and closer to the office. Then, as I enter the room, I see it. The most beautiful pizza in the world. What kind is that, you ask? The kind where you can get 5 different varieties! Yes, there was vegetarian, chicken and garlic, combination, all meat, and another one. It doesn't matter that I don't know the last variety, it just matters that 5 different kinds of pizza were at my disposal.
I could have as much as I wanted! It was free! It was warm (did you know I work outside where it is freakin' freezing?)! It was pizza!
Pizza that is made of white flour. Pizza that has grease puddles. Pizza that has a high calorie count. Well, guess what?
I DIDN'T EAT ANY! Can you believe it?! I can conquer all! Who in their right mind can turn down pizza? Me, that's who!
Booya!
But get this... even after eating really well the last couple of days to make up for my challah choice, I've gain 3 pounds! I am sitting pretty at 143. This just goes to show that it isn't about weight, it is about how you feel... and I feel great! I am working out harder than I have in a long time. I am more disciplined that I have ever been and I feel damn sexy. 1/3 of the way through!
For all you on a diet or trying to loose that pregnancy weight... just keep working. You have to be realist about goals. Goals that you can actually reach in a reasonable amount of time. It will come. And tell someone about it. It'll help keep you checking in with someone.
20 more days here I come!
Day 8/9
Day 8:
Weight: 140
A bad day for the diet. One week and I already am making excuses for myself on why it isn't a big deal if I get something that is not good for me. One week. Man, I wanted to make sure that I could go 30 days. To prove to myself that I have willpower. What I ate, you ask? Well, I didn't have plans for dinner, so I decided to take out some ground turkey from the freezer and have turkey burgers. Quick side note: Why is it called "ham"burgers when it is not made of ham? Yet if I were to have turkey, it would be called "turkey"burger. In fact, I don't think I've ever had a literal "ham"burger, just your tradition beef burger. Another thing, why is hamburger one word when turkey burger is two? Okay, thought of the day... back to the diet.
I was going to have my "turkey" burger with out the bun and lot of vegetables. Maybe this should be called a "garden burger". He he. Oh man, I wish Matt was awake to force laugh with me. Okay... seriously now (geez, here I am trying to inspire people to stay dedicated to their workouts and keep focus on diets and I can't even make it through this blog. Just imagine what God must think when I pray to him. I'm all over the place!) Now I'm talking about God! Focus, focus, focus.
When it came to it, I saw in my freezer, staring at me, some big, golden, challah hamburger buns. Oh my, they are so delicious. This diet I am not supposed to eat white flour. Only whole wheat. So I asked Matt (who is supposed to be supporting me on this diet by doing it with me), "What type of bun do you want? Challah, whole wheat, bread, nothing?" And do you know what he says?! He says, "Do you really need to ask? Challah of course!" That was it. I didn't say how much I was trying to fight it and I need his help. Instead I thought to myself so he wouldn't know the turmoil I was going through, debating back and forth if I should have some, or maybe half, a little won't hurt, right?
What do I do? I pull out 3 buns. One for Matt, 1/2 for me, 1/2 for Jordan, and 1 for Matt for lunch the next day.
What really happened? I pulled out 3 buns. One for Matt, 1.25 for me (I ate some of Jordan's), and .75 for Jordan. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have very little willpower. And it was so deceptive too. I would quickly sneak a bit before anyone saw me. It was everything I was hoping it would be. Delicious. But afterwards, I felt awful. I was, am, disappointed in myself. I know a lot of you might think, "you're doing great... this was only once... it isn't that big of deal". That is sweet of you to think that, but it is a big deal. I wanted to make it 30 days with no giving in. I wanted to show myself I could do it. But I didn't. I won't give up, I'll keep going. It just sucks. That is two days in a row of going off the diet. Not a good thing. Because once I start making excuses for myself once, I'll do it again and it will be easier. After I do it a second time, it will be even easier and I'll likely do it again. And again. And again. And again. You get my point. I need to stay focused (obviously by reading this email you can see that is damn near impossible).
Day 9:
Weight: 142 (thanks Challah)
Did good. Good food, good workout. Now for bed (spent too much time on day 8 that it is past my bedtime).
Weight: 140
A bad day for the diet. One week and I already am making excuses for myself on why it isn't a big deal if I get something that is not good for me. One week. Man, I wanted to make sure that I could go 30 days. To prove to myself that I have willpower. What I ate, you ask? Well, I didn't have plans for dinner, so I decided to take out some ground turkey from the freezer and have turkey burgers. Quick side note: Why is it called "ham"burgers when it is not made of ham? Yet if I were to have turkey, it would be called "turkey"burger. In fact, I don't think I've ever had a literal "ham"burger, just your tradition beef burger. Another thing, why is hamburger one word when turkey burger is two? Okay, thought of the day... back to the diet.
I was going to have my "turkey" burger with out the bun and lot of vegetables. Maybe this should be called a "garden burger". He he. Oh man, I wish Matt was awake to force laugh with me. Okay... seriously now (geez, here I am trying to inspire people to stay dedicated to their workouts and keep focus on diets and I can't even make it through this blog. Just imagine what God must think when I pray to him. I'm all over the place!) Now I'm talking about God! Focus, focus, focus.
When it came to it, I saw in my freezer, staring at me, some big, golden, challah hamburger buns. Oh my, they are so delicious. This diet I am not supposed to eat white flour. Only whole wheat. So I asked Matt (who is supposed to be supporting me on this diet by doing it with me), "What type of bun do you want? Challah, whole wheat, bread, nothing?" And do you know what he says?! He says, "Do you really need to ask? Challah of course!" That was it. I didn't say how much I was trying to fight it and I need his help. Instead I thought to myself so he wouldn't know the turmoil I was going through, debating back and forth if I should have some, or maybe half, a little won't hurt, right?
What do I do? I pull out 3 buns. One for Matt, 1/2 for me, 1/2 for Jordan, and 1 for Matt for lunch the next day.
What really happened? I pulled out 3 buns. One for Matt, 1.25 for me (I ate some of Jordan's), and .75 for Jordan. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have very little willpower. And it was so deceptive too. I would quickly sneak a bit before anyone saw me. It was everything I was hoping it would be. Delicious. But afterwards, I felt awful. I was, am, disappointed in myself. I know a lot of you might think, "you're doing great... this was only once... it isn't that big of deal". That is sweet of you to think that, but it is a big deal. I wanted to make it 30 days with no giving in. I wanted to show myself I could do it. But I didn't. I won't give up, I'll keep going. It just sucks. That is two days in a row of going off the diet. Not a good thing. Because once I start making excuses for myself once, I'll do it again and it will be easier. After I do it a second time, it will be even easier and I'll likely do it again. And again. And again. And again. You get my point. I need to stay focused (obviously by reading this email you can see that is damn near impossible).
Day 9:
Weight: 142 (thanks Challah)
Did good. Good food, good workout. Now for bed (spent too much time on day 8 that it is past my bedtime).
Monday, March 8, 2010
Day 7
Day 7:
Weight: 140
Day off from working out. I was hoping to go with Matt to yoga for my day off, but Topher is still sick. Oh well, I guess I was literally take a day off.
Sunday is our one day a week as a family. It is wonderful knowing that we get every meal together on Sunday and that the meals are healthy. There was a bad pattern we go into that made family day seem like a holiday or vacation (because it is so seldom) that we treat it with treats. "Oh special day... let's go get Burgerville milkshakes", or Voodoo doughnuts, or whatever seems most decedent at the time.
Instead we went to OMSI and took the kids to their first movie, an IMAX movie "Deep Sea". Glad it was only an hour because I think Jordan was getting a little restless.
Not much to report on the diet though.
Breakfast: Usual (Scrambled eggs, Kashi go lean cereal)
Snack: Yogurt, blueberries, oats
Lunch: Salad with asparagus and bacon
Dinner: Grilled chicken, wild rice, artichoke
Late night snack with friend Kate: Carrots, cucumbers, apples (and my first little cheat... red wine). What can I say, a friend invites me over and pours me a glass of wine as we catch up, I can't resist. It was wonderful.
Weight: 140
Day off from working out. I was hoping to go with Matt to yoga for my day off, but Topher is still sick. Oh well, I guess I was literally take a day off.
Sunday is our one day a week as a family. It is wonderful knowing that we get every meal together on Sunday and that the meals are healthy. There was a bad pattern we go into that made family day seem like a holiday or vacation (because it is so seldom) that we treat it with treats. "Oh special day... let's go get Burgerville milkshakes", or Voodoo doughnuts, or whatever seems most decedent at the time.
Instead we went to OMSI and took the kids to their first movie, an IMAX movie "Deep Sea". Glad it was only an hour because I think Jordan was getting a little restless.
Not much to report on the diet though.
Breakfast: Usual (Scrambled eggs, Kashi go lean cereal)
Snack: Yogurt, blueberries, oats
Lunch: Salad with asparagus and bacon
Dinner: Grilled chicken, wild rice, artichoke
Late night snack with friend Kate: Carrots, cucumbers, apples (and my first little cheat... red wine). What can I say, a friend invites me over and pours me a glass of wine as we catch up, I can't resist. It was wonderful.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Day 6
Weight: 140
It is getting a little easier. Sort of like a pattern. However, there are two big struggles.
1. I have to prepare (or at least plan) what I am going to eat the next day.
2. Peanut butter is HIGH, HIGH, HIGH in calories. Crap!
To address the first one, it is annoying to think of everything I am going to eat the next day, check the calories to make sure I am hitting the mark. What has often happened this week, is I don't have enough time to check the calories in my lunch. I pack a snack and a meal, and then later that night I check the calories. When I check I find out that earlier in the day I hate museli, or peanut butter on wheat bread with honey and a banana (oh my favorite) and find out I just at 500 calories for a snack! And since I have already planned the dinner for the week, I can't not make it... that's what is on the menu. So, I have gone over my calories by 100-300 for the past 3 days (and I've only been on this diet for 6 days!)
Now regarding that peanut butter... I love it. It is so incredible. I would eat just peanut butter for a snack if I could. That smooth texture followed by that wonderful crunch. Oh my... just thinking of it makes me want to put my finger in the jar right now. What stops me you ask, whoever is out there reading, peanut has 200 calories in 2 tablespoons!!! Before I started this I would say there was a time I may have enjoyed 1/3 cup of peanut butter by itself. Oh those days.
Speaking of "those days" when I was younger and my body could handle eating half a bag of Oreo cookies and still weigh a measly 120... I asked Matt last night if he was okay with his body getting older. He said, "yes". Then I asked myself the question. When I was younger, I always wanted to be okay with getting older. Excited about growing and having big birthdays like 30, 40, etc. I still want to celebrate like crazy, don't get my wrong, but when I really thought about it, I don't think I am okay with getting older.
Actually, I think it is a combination of getting older and having two kids. My body is not as firm as it used to be. My ass and boobs sag more than they used to. Wrinkles are starting to show, which I don't mind that much, but what I don't like are the age spots (or freckles) I've gotten. Seems to increase every summer. And most of all, I can't eat as much, but I still want to and before this, I did. I would eat as much as Matt! Why did I not find that is odd? I, little 5'9" compared to 6'5" eating the same amount of food. Crazy.
Jordan is choking me... I think I need to give her attention.
Breakfast: scrambled eggs, 1 cup Nature's Organic cereal, 1/2 c skim milk (mistake with the cereal... later realized it took a lot of calories)
Lunch: Leftover frittata
Snack: Salad, yogurt, tangerine
Dinner: Have figured it out yet, but I only have 200 calories left in the day.
Workout: Run... it is gorgeous out!!!!!
It is getting a little easier. Sort of like a pattern. However, there are two big struggles.
1. I have to prepare (or at least plan) what I am going to eat the next day.
2. Peanut butter is HIGH, HIGH, HIGH in calories. Crap!
To address the first one, it is annoying to think of everything I am going to eat the next day, check the calories to make sure I am hitting the mark. What has often happened this week, is I don't have enough time to check the calories in my lunch. I pack a snack and a meal, and then later that night I check the calories. When I check I find out that earlier in the day I hate museli, or peanut butter on wheat bread with honey and a banana (oh my favorite) and find out I just at 500 calories for a snack! And since I have already planned the dinner for the week, I can't not make it... that's what is on the menu. So, I have gone over my calories by 100-300 for the past 3 days (and I've only been on this diet for 6 days!)
Now regarding that peanut butter... I love it. It is so incredible. I would eat just peanut butter for a snack if I could. That smooth texture followed by that wonderful crunch. Oh my... just thinking of it makes me want to put my finger in the jar right now. What stops me you ask, whoever is out there reading, peanut has 200 calories in 2 tablespoons!!! Before I started this I would say there was a time I may have enjoyed 1/3 cup of peanut butter by itself. Oh those days.
Speaking of "those days" when I was younger and my body could handle eating half a bag of Oreo cookies and still weigh a measly 120... I asked Matt last night if he was okay with his body getting older. He said, "yes". Then I asked myself the question. When I was younger, I always wanted to be okay with getting older. Excited about growing and having big birthdays like 30, 40, etc. I still want to celebrate like crazy, don't get my wrong, but when I really thought about it, I don't think I am okay with getting older.
Actually, I think it is a combination of getting older and having two kids. My body is not as firm as it used to be. My ass and boobs sag more than they used to. Wrinkles are starting to show, which I don't mind that much, but what I don't like are the age spots (or freckles) I've gotten. Seems to increase every summer. And most of all, I can't eat as much, but I still want to and before this, I did. I would eat as much as Matt! Why did I not find that is odd? I, little 5'9" compared to 6'5" eating the same amount of food. Crazy.
Jordan is choking me... I think I need to give her attention.
Breakfast: scrambled eggs, 1 cup Nature's Organic cereal, 1/2 c skim milk (mistake with the cereal... later realized it took a lot of calories)
Lunch: Leftover frittata
Snack: Salad, yogurt, tangerine
Dinner: Have figured it out yet, but I only have 200 calories left in the day.
Workout: Run... it is gorgeous out!!!!!
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